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Tie Drive for the Wilmington Hope Commision

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Tie Drive



For the next 30 days, the MWULYP will be collecting gently used ties
to donate to Wilmington Hope Commission.
The collection will end on November 12th.


Drop-off Locations New Castle County
Community Service Building
100 W. 10TH ST. Suite 602,
Wilmington, DE
in Kent County coordinate pickup/drop off times,
please email info@mwulyp.com

How Dads Can Get More Involved in Education

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Wednesday, October 21, 2020

How Dads Can Get More
Involved in Education

By Saron Messay from National PTA'S




A father’s involvement with his child plays a vital role in their development and the socio-emotional and academic functioning within their lives.

Research shows that when dads and other father figures are engaged in children’s education, student grades and test scores improve, attendance increases, and students are more involved in school activities.

While fathers are spending more time with their children, many feel they’re still not doing enough. Roughly half (48%) say they spend too little time with their kids. Only 25% of mothers say the same.


Dads + Kids = Improved Milestones

Active and regular father engagement with children impacts a range of positive outcomes, including enhancing cognitive development and decreasing delinquency and poverty in low socioeconomic families. It is important to educate men about the benefits of their engagement and support, not only at home but in their schools as well.

With more fathers stepping up in their daily roles and becoming more active with their children, the change of roles has introduced a new form of fatherhood in America.

With fathers taking a more active role within communities and schools, it is important to share these values with other dads through engagement programs and various projects. Here are some programs that encourage dads to be involved:


The PTA MORE Alliance is helping PTAs get more men involved in students’ education. The partnering organizations The WATCH D.O.G.S. (Dads Of Great Students) program can also help you reach and engage your dads as can All Pro Dad, Strong Fathers-Strong Families and 100 Black Men of America, Inc. These four programs make up

All of these programs and resources have proven to be effective tools in bringing fathers and father-figures into schools in unique and powerful ways in order to build PTA membership and capacity.


Dad-To-Dad Tips

Eric Snow, president and cofounder of WATCH D.O.G.S.—and a dad shares the countless ways dads can be involved in their child’s education at all ages that will make a difference.


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Why Fatherhood Is Important to a Child’s Education

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Why Fatherhood Is
Important to a Child’s Education

by Letise Dennis from Family Living, Parenting


Fatherhood may not be a rare gift, but it is certainly one to be highly valued and carefully guarded. When a new life is created, the child brings to the mother and father not only exponential joy but also a lifelong commitment and interdependent relationship.

Fathers play many important roles in a child’s life, varying in each individual family based on the provisions of the father and needs of the child. An area in which our society is significantly suffering, though, is the involvement of fathers in the education of our children.

Many fathers are doing an excellent job of participating daily in the education of our nation’s children, but there is still a large percentage not engaging with teachers, homework, schools, and academic development.

Before going any deeper into why and how fathers should get involved in education, a definition of fatherhood should first be explained. Sticking with a formal definition, fatherhood can be simply stated as a state-of-being in relation to being a father. For the context of this article, though, let’s take it one step farther.

Children do not stop needing their fathers because life circumstances or relationships change, because they get older, or because lives get busy. Once a man enters into fatherhood, he is a member for life, and whether he is man enough to take on that challenge or not is up to him. The impact a father has on a child is irreplaceable, as numerous studies have shown, the absence of a father can result in negative consequences that can affect all areas of a child’s life.



One of those significant areas is education. Children with involved fathers tend toward achieving academic success across the board, higher IQs, improved test results, and better attitudes toward school. They are less likely to drop out, fail classes, or develop behavioral concerns.

Knowing children with involved fathers have such a clear academic advantage, here are some ways in which fathers can become actively involved with their child’s learning.


Watch D.O.G.S.

The National Center for Fathering has created a program called Watch D.O.G.S. (Dads of Great Students) to help connect fathers with their children’s schools. They volunteer a day of their time doing varying activities around the school such as assisting teachers, helping to monitor the car line, patrolling the school, and other various tasks as assigned. This is not only a huge assistance to teachers and school staff, but it also helps the children know that their fathers care enough to take a day off from work and invest in the betterment of the school. If Watch D.O.G.S. is not available as an option, ask the school administration or teachers about other volunteer opportunities to get involved.


Bedtime Stories

Find out from the child’s teacher what topics they are covering right now at school. Check out a book from the library or download one online that relates in some way to what is being taught at school. As a part of the bedtime routine, read together this book and discuss anything newly discovered or learned. This will develop a healthy habit of reading every night, will open up communication regarding school and learning, and will create very special memories shared between father and child.


Weekend Exploration

If weekdays prove impossible for a father to engage in many school-related activities, plan to take full advantage of the weekends. For every weekend, base at least one outing or adventure on something connected to either a lesson learned at school that week or something new the child has always wanted to try. This will reinforce learning at school, enable a more hands-on educational experience, and facilitate bonding time.


Ride to School

Mornings are often the most hectic time of the day, but if at all possible, arranging schedules to allow for driving children to school in the morning will open the door for some great conversations along the way. What do you have going on today? What are you most looking forward to? Are you nervous about anything? If it is possible to take the few extra minutes to walk the child to class, too, this makes it easy to speak with the teacher and other school staff. If this time in the morning is impossible to do, a quick appearance at lunch will make a world of difference in a student’s day and allow for the same communication with teachers and staff.


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Upward Bound Program

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Upward Bound Program

Delaware Technical Community College



What is Classic Upward Bound?

Classic Upward Bound (CUB) is a FREE academic
and college preparatory support for high school students (grades 9 through 11) on their path to earning a college degree.
CUB empowers participants to complete high school and enter and complete a program of postsecondary education.
We accept first-generation college students or those who are low-income and qualify for free or reduced lunch.


CUB Participant Commitment - Participate in monthly meetings with the Student Enrichment Coordinator at your high school.
Attend Saturday Academy, Attend Summer Academy and Attend Tutoring Sessions.


Apply now at:
https://www.dtcc.edu/sites/default/files/g-cub-application.pdf

Kent County Free Fall Harvest Giveaway

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Free Fall Harvest Giveaway




Thursday, October 29, 2020, from 3 PM to 6 PM
Westside Family Healthcare
1020 Forrest Avenue Dover, DE

FREE USDA Food Boxes Meat, Dairy, Produce, Eggs
and COVID-19 Hygiene Kits Towels, Soap, Face Coverings.

The Effective Stepfather: A Check-List to Live By

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Friday, October 16, 2020

The Effective Stepfather:
A Check-List to Live By

by Ron Deal from Fathers.com



Anyone who has been a father and then a stepfather knows that they aren’t the same. While many aspects of these two roles are similar, it is the unique ones that lead to disillusionment. Franklin put it this way: “I’ve been to every Promise Keepers conference and I’ve studied fathering with my men’s group many times. But nothing has prepared me for being a stepfather. With my own kids I have a natural leadership authority that allows me to teach them and be directive. With my stepchildren I constantly feel like I’m one step behind, like I have to establish myself each time I engage them.”


Step fathering can be challenging. Perhaps that’s why many stepfathers disconnect from their stepchildren emotionally and withdraw from daily responsibilities. The unmapped territory seems to have many land mines and it’s easier to just retreat than to engage the “enemy.” But stepfathers can have profound and important leadership roles with stepchildren. Like Joseph, who wasn’t Jesus’ biological parent, stepfathers can offer guidance, love, and encouragement to the children under their care. Here’s a map for the territory and some practical action points for stepfathers.


Get a Lay of the Land

All stepparents need to understand the emotional climate of their stepchildren. Stepfathers are no different. For example, being aware of the child’s emotional wounds and hurts from past losses is vital to coping with the sometimes angry or oppositional attitudes of children in stepfamilies.

It is also very important that stepfathers recognize that gaining respect and leadership from stepchildren is a process; you earn the right to lead by developing trust and connection with stepchildren. You must be willing, for example, to enter the child’s life as an “outsider” who slowly finds acceptance, at the child’s pace. For many men it is very disturbing to realize that their stepchildren get to determine the pace at which they find acceptance in the family. And it’s true—you don’t get to control your parental status—the children do. They will open their heart to you when they are ready. Until then, you must cope with feeling out-of-control and find ways to work within the system as it is. Here are some tools that might help.


Tools for the Stepfather Tool Box

Initially Provide Indirect Leadership

There are two kinds of influence (or power) in relationships: 1) positional power and 2) relational power. Initially as a stepfather you have positional power because you are an adult in the house who is married to the children’s mother. Much like a teacher at school, you have positional power. As your relationship with the children grows, often over a period of years, you gain relational power because they now care about you personally. Your opinions matters more, your validation is sought after, and your warm embrace feels safe.

In the beginning, when limited to positional power, effective stepfathers provide in-direct leadership in their home by leading through their wife who holds a great deal of relational power with the children. Work with her behind the scenes to establish boundaries, expectations, and the values that will govern your home. While she might be the one to communicate the values and hand down discipline, you can still be very responsible to set a godly tone for the family.


Express Your Commitment

Articulate your commitment to your stepchildren’s mother. Keep in mind, however, that early on this won’t necessarily be considered a positive by your stepchildren. In fact, they may be threatened by it. Children who hold a strong fantasy that their parents will reconcile can find your commitment a barrier to life as they would have it. Additionally, mom’s remarriage (whether following a death or divorce) is often perceived as another loss to children, not a gain (as you see it). Be patient with their adjustment to your marriage, but communicate your commitment to the permanency of the marriage nevertheless.


Communicate Your Role

It’s important to verbalize your understanding of your role. Children need to hear that you know that you’re not their dad and won’t try to take his place. Communicating that same understanding to their father is also very helpful to him; hopefully this will help him to not fear your involvement with his kids. As his fear decreases, his cooperative spirit about your presence may increase. Finally, tell your stepkids that you are looking forward to your growing relationship and that you know how awkward that can be for the child. Let them know that if they feel stuck between you and their dad, they can make you aware of it and it won’t hurt your feelings.


Be a Spiritual Leader

Many stepfathers discover that sharing faith matters is, in addition to spiritual training for the child, a good way to connect emotionally. Processing the moral content of a TV program or “thinking out loud” about your decision not to spend money on a bigger fishing boat helps children see your character and learn important spiritual values at the same time. Show them you are a person worthy of respect and they’ll eventually give you respect.


Be Approachable

As a therapist I always know I’m going to have a tough time helping a family when the stepfather is defensive and easily hurt by the typical reactions of stepchildren. Part of being approachable and accessible to stepchildren is knowing that not everything is about you. In fact, most of kid’s negative reactions to stepparents are really about the child’s losses (stepparents just happen to be the easy target for child’s heartache). Until you have worked through the struggles of building a relationship, most of what a kids throws at you is a test of your character. Show yourself not easily offended and able to deal with their emotional ups and downs. This will make it more likely that they see you as someone they can trust.


Show Appreciation

If you want to win someone’s heart, give them a thousand compliments (even when they aren’t asking for it). Showing appreciation is the quickest way to build someone up and help them to feel comfortable in your presence. By contrast, be cautious with criticism. Words of affirmation go along way to engendering safety and closeness.


Spend Time Together

Find time to be with your stepchildren, but do so with wisdom. If a child is not welcoming of your presence, join their life at a distance. This means taking them to their soccer game and cheering from the sidelines, but not being too much of a coach. It also means knowing what’s important to them and gently inquiring with interest: “You studied for three hours last night for that science exam. How did it go?” “I know you’ve got a big date this Friday. I noticed a concert in the paper today that you might consider attending. I think she’d like this, but it’s your call whether you go.”


Also, if you say you’re going to be somewhere, be there. Don’t disappoint a child who is deciding whether to let you in their heart or not.


As your relationship grows, you can spend one-on-one time with the child, go on special retreats together, and serve side-by-side in your church’s summer work camp. Focused time will deepen the trust and emotional bond in your relationship.


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Know! Six R’s for Less Stress Homeschooling

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Know! Six R’s for Less Stress Homeschooling



The pandemic wreaked havoc on many families’ summer plans, and now as school starts back in session, it appears the turbulence will continue. Some schools plan to take place in-person, some plan to go virtual, some are planning for a blended version. Regardless of how it starts off, most schools have been clear that all plans are subject to change depending on COVID-19 numbers—which gives way to more uncertainty.

Uncertainty means different things for different people, as we are each faced with unique family dynamics and circumstances. However, we are all in the same boat when it comes to the concern for how these changes will impact our children’s academic success, mental health, physical well-being, and futures.

Whether your children are at home from the start or may be learning from home at some point, here are some tips to keep in mind to help them achieve success academically, stay physically and mentally healthy, and forge ahead with resiliency.


Six R’s for less stress homeschooling:

Realistic Expectations: This is a key starting point. Set your standards high but be sure to give yourself and your children grace along the way. Don’t strive for perfection, be too intense, or overschedule. Simply do your best as you step into this type of teaching role while encouraging your child to do the same.


Requirements: Be clear on what is required of your child weekly and daily. Monitor their ability to comprehend the task at hand and complete the assignment. Depending on your individual child, your necessary level of involvement will vary—which means potentially more work and more stress for some families than others.


Rules and Routine: Create rules surrounding time for work and play. Many families find that it works best to get the schoolwork completed first, then have the rest of the day for play. If your child’s school requires them to be on live sessions, that will determine their schedule to some degree. However, it is up to you and your child to come up with a routine that fits best—then stick to it.


Relief: This comes in the form of self-care for you and for your child so that you can be in the best frame of mind to be helpful, and your child can be in the best frame of mind to continue learning. It’s essential that all parties involved are getting enough sleep, eating well-balanced diets, getting exercise, and making time to relax.


Resources: Check first with your child’s school to see what they have to offer, then go online as there are endless free resources to help with homeschooling.

Many of us got our first taste of homeschooling back in the spring when schools were shutting down across the nation. Depending on how that went for you and your child(ren), you may be feeling more or less stressed about beginning the new school year at home. You are encouraged to take it one day, one subject, one lesson at a time, and remember that we are all in this together and that this too shall pass.


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Kent County Family Symposium 2020

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Thursday, September 10, 2020

DELAWARE FATHERHOOD AND FAMILY COALITION

Putting the FAMILY back in Family Matters Symposium



Saturday, September 26, 2020, from 9 am to 1 pm

Guest speakers Ray Taylor - Healthy Relationships,
Kevin L. Kelly The Essence of Parenting/Co-Parenting, and
Robert Moore & Jason Hall - Healthy Teen Relationships.

Registration

WWW.DFFCDADS.ORG
(855) 733-3232 or admin@dffcdads.org

New Castle County Family Symposium 2020

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Thursday, September 10, 2020

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition

Putting The Family Back
In Family Matter Symposium




October 3, 2020, 10:00 am to 12:00 pm

Guest Speakers Dr. George Gibson - Family Health and Wellness,
Dr. Sandi Hagans-Morris Healthy Relationships,
and Walter Deshields - Parenting/Co-Parenting.

REGISTER TODAY

WWW.DFFCDADS.ORG
(855) 733-3232 or admin@dffcdads.org

Back to School Book Bag Giveaway

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Back to School Book Bag Giveaway

Free Back-Packs & School Supplies Drive



Saturday, August 22, 2020, from 10 am to 12 pm
at Capital Park Community Center
2 Capital Ave. Dover, DE 19901

About DFFC

The Delaware Fatherhood & Family Coalition is an extension of the Promoting Safe and Stable Families Program and the Responsible Fatherhood Initiative created specifically to give a voice to fathers and the importance of their involvement for the well-being of their children.


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