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Fatherhood, Co-Parenting and Child Support information. Get a better of understanding of your rights as a parent before you go to court. We will also give you information on how to be a better father and co-parent with the mother. Our goal is to increase father's involvement in the family structure.

Take Your Dad to Breakfast

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Monday, May 07, 2018

Sussex County Delaware Fatherhood & Family Coalition

Take Your Dad to Breakfast


June 16, 2018 from 9AM to Noon

IHOP Restaurant
22812 Sussex Highway, Seaford, DE 19973

Click here to sign-up

FOR MORE INFO: Tanisha Showell (302) 518-0618, tshowell@connectionscsp.org WWW.DFFCDADS.ORG

kent-county-father-daughter-dance

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Monday, April 30, 2018

KENT COUNTY LEADERSHIP COALITION cordially invites you to our

FATHER & DAUGHTER DANCE


SATURDAY, JUNE 23, 2018

Outlook at the Duncan Center
500 W.Loockerman St., Dover, DE 19901

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT : Sade' Truiett 302-674-1355 ext. 214 (office)
302-278-5449 (cell) struiett@dffcdads.org
www.dffcdads.org | email: admin@dffcdads.org | phone: 1-855-733-3232

Fathers Matter for the Whole Family

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Fathers Matter for the Whole Family

This fatherhood video shows a diverse group of dads answering questions such as:

  • Where do men learn to be fathers?
  • How does society view fathers?
  • What more can society do to support fathers?

The Problem of Incarceration for America's Children

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Monday, April 03, 2017

The Problem of Incarceration for America's Children

Posted by Melissa Steward from National Fatherhood Initiative


There are 2.7 million children with a parent in prison or jail. Ninety-two percent (92%) of parents in prison are fathers.

The sort-of good news is that ninety-five (95%) of all inmates will eventually be released. The not-so-good news is that most—2 out of 3 inmates—will re-offend and be back in prison.
It's clear we have a problem. But we also have a solution.
When we talk about father absence in general, we focus on the U.S. Census Bureau's statistic that 24 million children—one out of three—live without their dad in the home. Consequently, there is a “father factor” in nearly all of the societal issues facing America today.

We must take action to raise up more involved, responsible, and committed fathers. And that includes fathers who are currently (or formerly) incarcerated.
To help you better understand and share this message, we created a simple yet powerful infographic outlining the problem and solution for America's children due to fathers behind bars.

The Facts [The Problem for America's Children]

There are 2.7 million children with a parent in prison or jail.  
The number of children with a father in prison has grown by 79% since 1991.
Having a parent who is incarcerated is now recognized as an “adverse childhood experience” (ACE). This is different from other ACEs because of the trauma, stigma, and shame it inflicts on children.
More than 650,000 ex-offenders are released from prison every year. Fathers are returning to their children and families without the skills they need to be involved, responsible, and committed fathers.
Incarceration often spans generations. Fathers in prison are, overwhelmingly, fatherless themselves. Youths in father-absent households have significantly higher odds of incarceration.
Two-thirds of released prisoners, or 429,000, are likely to be rearrested within three years. Recidivism is a huge, national problem, and fathers are leaving their children behind.


The Solution for America's Children


Give incarcerated fathers a vision that they have a unique and irreplaceable role in the life of their child. Increased confidence, along with changes in attitude and skills are a powerful motivator for successful reentry and to bring home fathers to their children.

Use an evidence-based program to rehabilitate fathers and train men on what it means to be a man and a father. NFI's InsideOut Dad® program is the only evidence-based parenting program designed specifically for incarcerated fathers. An evaluation conducted by Rutger's University found that fathers who went through InsideOut Dad® while in prison showed statistically significant increases in fathering knowledge and confidence/self-esteem compared to a control group.

Connect fathers with their children heart-to-heart. Through activities and group sessions in a program like InsideOut Dad®, fathers take action to reach out to their children to begin, repair, or rejuvenate relationships with their children and families.

Help to reduce recidivism, especially for fathers. Fathers who are involved with, and connected to their children and families prior to release are less likely to return to jail or prison. In fact, some states have conducted evaluations that connect the use of NFI's InsideOut Dad® program along with other interventions to reduce recidivism.


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How To Involve Dad During & After Mom's Pregnancy

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Monday, March 13, 2017

How To Involve Dad During & After Mom's Pregnancy

Posted by Melissa Steward

Children do much better physically and emotionally when dad is involved right from the start. In fact, dad's physical presence at the birth of his child increases the likelihood his child will be a healthy newborn. It also means mom is likely to be healthier. On the other hand, when dad is absent, baby and mom are less likely to be healthy.

But what about after the child’s birth? How involved is dad at the earliest stage of his child's life? These are two vital questions, because based on research, a child with an involved dad is more likely to grow up healthy physically, emotionally, and socially.

The children of absent dads are more likely to have a range of health complications and low birth weight. And moms are more likely to have had complications during pregnancy.

Research shows when a child grows up in a father-absent home, he or she is at two times greater risk of infant mortality, four times more likely to live in poverty, more likely to face abuse and neglect, and seven times more likely to become pregnant as a teen. And unfortunately, there’s more to this list; view more father absence data at www.fatherhood.org/statistics.

Based on the above, it’s important that your organization and staff take this research to heart and do everything you can to involve fathers right from the start.

Here are a few ways you can leverage National Fatherhood Initiative resources to do just that:

Share the above information with dads and moms from the moment you learn they want to have children or a pregnancy is confirmed.
NFI’s Importance of an Involved Father Brochure is one of our newest resources to help you share this information in a simple and easy-to-understand way with mom and dad.
Another is our Tip Card for moms titled For Baby’s Health, which helps mom understand the importance and benefits of dad’s involvement for the health of their baby.

Before baby is born, provide dads with training on how to be a great dad. NFI's 24/7 Dad®programs and The 7 Habits of a 24/7 Dad™ workshop are excellent tools to use.
You can also give dads 10 Tips for Expectant Dads to provide expectant fathers with tips to help dad bond with baby, while helping mom-to-be.

Before baby is born, provide moms with training on the importance of encouraging dad's involvement, and how to become a “gateway” to his involvement rather than a “gatekeeper”.

NFI's Understanding Dad™8-week program and Mom as Gateway™ FatherTopics Booster Session (run in 1-day or a few shorter sessions) are excellent tools to use. The Importance of an Involved Father Brochure is also excellent to give to moms In fact, it also contains a short list of ways mom can encourage dad’s involvement.


READ MORE INFO:

How Dads View Co-Parenting

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Thursday, February 02, 2017

How Dads View Co-Parenting

Posted by Christopher A. Brown

One of the best ways to help dads become more involved in the lives of their children is to ensure that the co-parenting relationship between dad and mom is a good one.

That's because one of the primary barriers to many dads' involvement is restrictive gatekeeping behavior on the part of their children's mom. If you're not familiar with the term "restrictive maternal gatekeeping," it refers to actions that a mom takes to unnecessarily restrict a dad's access to their children. This behavior most often occurs when dad doesn't live with mom and his children, but it also occurs in homes where mom and dad are married or cohabit.

So where do you start to ensure dad and mom have a good co-parenting relationship? Learn what the research says about co-parenting, including how dads and moms view co-parenting.

  • Cooperative (high levels of cooperation, low levels of conflict),
  • Conflicted (low levels of cooperation, high levels of conflict), or
  • Disengaged (low levels of cooperation, low levels of conflict).

A new study from the federally-funded Parents and Children Together (PACT) evaluation sheds light on how dads view co-parenting. (This evaluation focuses on measuring the implementation and outcomes of four fatherhood programs funded by the federal government in 2011.) Researchers conducted two rounds of in-depth interviews with 87 resident and nonresident dads enrolled in these programs. Based on these interviews, the researchers classified each dad-mom relationship as:

They found a fairly even distribution of these relationships in the sample. What makes this research most helpful for you, however, is the richness of the qualitative data on how dads in each type of relationship differ in their views on co-parenting and engage in parenting with mom. Those findings are too extensive to recount here, so please download the report to increase your knowledge in this vital area. But in addition to this rich data, the researchers made two recommendations that will help your organization to more effectively serve dads:

  • Offer services to help dads navigate and potentially improve relationships with moms.
  • Help nonresident dads obtain the legal agreements that can structure and support greater involvement with their children. 


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Strengthening Families and The 5 Protective Factors Series: Concrete Support

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Friday, December 30, 2016

Strengthening Families and The 5 Protective Factors Series:

Concrete Support

Posted by Christopher A. Brown


Concrete Support in Times of Need

About concrete support CSSP emphasizes, “Meeting basic economic needs like food, shelter, clothing and health care is essential for families to thrive.”

Father-specific programs and resources are necessary to adequately address this factor because fathers, and men in general, are reluctant to seek help for their basic needs, much less to admit they have them. As noted in an earlier post in this series, Doctor Dad® helps fathers meet the basic health care needs necessary for their children to thrive and through teaching techniques that are particularly effective with men (e.g. hands-on learning and demonstration supported by visual aids).

CSSP points out that family poverty is the factor most strongly correlated with child abuse and neglect. Families need concrete support to prevent them from or lift them out of poverty. Research shows that father absence places children and families at greater risk of poverty. Therefore, any effort addresses this factor when that effort connects fathers with their children to prevent and intervene on father absence.

NFI recognizes, however, that meeting the basic needs of families (especially those at risk for or living in poverty) is beyond the scope of father-specific programs and resources. Therefore, NFI provides technical assistance and training to help organizations understand the basic needs faced by specific populations of fathers and the importance of integrating father-involvement efforts into the services organizations provide that help families meet their basic economic needs.

Incarcerated fathers are one of the specific populations of fathers NFI helps organizations to serve, primarily through the InsideOut Dad® program. These fathers often struggle with meeting their own and their families’ basic economic needs before and after incarceration.

In 2010, NFI completed The Connections Project, an 18-month federally-funded initiative that involved training on InsideOut Dad® and produced several resources that build the capacity of state and local corrections systems and direct-service providers to better understand the basic needs of formerly-incarcerated fathers for successful reentry into society.....

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​The Need for Co-Parenting, Regardless of Relationship Status

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Friday, December 26, 2014

 

​The Need for Co-Parenting, Regardless of Relationship Status

Fathers and mothers are both important to the family, and unfortunately, the problems in the relationship or the issues that the mother has with her baby’s daddy or the father has with the mother often get in the way. Whether she or he loves you, dislikes you, doen’t want to be around you, stopped enjoying your company or never ever wants to be in a loving and committed relationship with you ever again – you are still the father (the daddy to your child) or mother and your rights and roles are just as important as the others when it comes to the child.

But women often don’t truly understand what moves their children’s father or what makes him tick. They don’t understand what drives a father to be there and to do for her and the children for the long haul. They often aren’t sure how to keep a father engaged and involved with the children (that they both had together) instead of him being absent and thus being called a deadbeat dad. They don’t necessarily understand how to keep him engaged.

And dads often aren’t sure how to stay engaged with their children when they are no longer involved with their mother. Even dads who live with their children’s mother sometimes have difficulty developing a good approach to co-parenting.

The Power of Two: Putting the Pieces Together…Together

Working together parenting

There is so much more that can get accomplished when the two parents work together.If the two have split up then for the sake of the children – there is still more power in the two.

​​Why? Because no one parent has all it takes to raise a child. While we think it IS true that it takes a village to fully and properly raise a child, the key members of that “village” are the mother and the father. And each of you brings some of the pieces to the puzzle!

For a child to become all he or she was created to be, both of you need to bring what you have learned in life – wisdom, the insights, the skills, the know-how, the values and principles, the faith. And increasingly, as they grow older, your children will be able to bring some pieces to the puzzle as well. So together, you put the pieces together…regardless of whether you and your child’s mother are “together” or not as a couple.

 

Why It’s Important: Kids Want It

If kids could talk honestly about what they want from you both…regardless of you are together with the other parent…here’s the kind’s of things they would tell you:

 

Dear Mom and Dad, I am just a kid, so Please…

  • 1. Do not talk badly about my other parent.
  • 2. Do not talk badly about my other parent’s friends or relatives. Let me care for someone, even if you don’t.
  • 3. Do not talk about the divorce or other grown-up stuff. Please leave me out of it.
  • 4. Do not talk about money or child support.
  • 5. Do not make me feel bad when I enjoy my time with my other parent.
  • 6. Do not block my visits or prevent me from speaking to my other parent.
  • 7. Do not interrupt my time with my other parent by calling too much or by planning my activities during our time together.
  • 8. Do not argue in front of me or on the phone when I can hear you.
  • 9. Do not ask me to spy for you when I am at my other parent’s home.
  • 10. Do not ask me to keep secrets from my other parent.
  • 11. Do not ask me questions about my other parent’s life or about our time together.
  • 12. Do not give me verbal messages to deliver to my other parent.
  • 13. Do not send written messages with me or place them in my bag.
  • 14. Do not blame any other parent for the divorce or for things that go wrong in your life.
  • 15. Do not treat me like an adult, it causes way too much stress for me.
  • 16. Do not ignore my other parent or sit on opposite sides of the room during my school or sports activities.
  • 17. Do let me take items to my other home as long as I can carry them back and forth.
  • 18. Do not use guilt or pressure me to love you more, and do not ask me where I want to live.
  • 19. Do realize that I have two homes, not just one.
  • 20. Do let me love both of you and see each of you as much as possible! Be flexible even when it is not part of your regular schedule.

 

Some Things to Remember About Co-Parenting

Co-Parenting for the Good of the Children. ​At the end of the day, we believe in putting the child first.

“It’s Not Just About You​ It’s About the Children Too!"

Who’s Parenting Whom?

  • 1. If you don’t parent your children then your children will end up parenting you.
  • 2. What gets accomplished when two parents are:
    • Headed in the Same Direction
    • Headed in Separate Directions
    • Headed Simply in the Children Direction

 

Co-Parenting and Location

Location, Location, Location may be important when trying to decide where to put a store or even buy a house. But it is less important when it comes to Co-parenting. Instead, it is love the children no matter where you are, no matter where they are and no matter what the cost.
​In other words, you BOTH are my parents and I need you BOTH!

 

Adapted from © 2012 Dr. Sheldon D. Nix & Darrell V. Freeman, M.A. “A Father for Life: The 6 “C’s” of a Star Dad”. A DFFC Publication.


About DFFC

The Delaware Fatherhood & Family Coalition is an extension of the Promoting Safe and Stable Families Program and the Responsible Fatherhood Initiative created specifically to give a voice to fathers and the importance of their involvement for the well-being of their children.


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