Fatherhood and Co-Parenting

 Home / Fatherhood and Co-Parenting Blog

Fatherhood and Co-Parenting Help RSS

Fatherhood, Co-Parenting and Child Support information. Get a better of understanding of your rights as a parent before you go to court. We will also give you information on how to be a better father and co-parent with the mother. Our goal is to increase father's involvement in the family structure.

How to Keep Your Kids on a Sleep Schedule While Traveling

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Wednesday, July 31, 2019

How to Keep Your Kids on a Sleep Schedule While Traveling

School’s out, summer’s in, and family adventures await. But how do you manage your child’s nighttime schedule when their regular routine is anything but?

By Julia Savacool Jun 03 2019, 5:50 PM


How to Keep Your Kids on a Sleep Schedule While Traveling

This story was produced in partnership with GoodNites®, the #1 NightTime Underwear that works to keep kids dry and worry-free, so they can do what they do best: be kids.

When kids’ regular routines suddenly change, sleep is usually the first thing to suffer. Different times zones, unfamiliar beds, the tantalizing opportunity to explore someplace new: It’s easy to see why sleep is not a priority. But it should be, since kids ages 4 to 7 are at a critical point in their development that requires nine to 13 hours of shut-eye a night to fully rest and recover for a new day of activity. Without enough sleep, your little ball of energy and enthusiasm will turn into a clingy, crabby, tantrum-prone monster. While nothing is a perfect substitute for the comfort of sleeping in their own bed, there are ways to help kids adapt their routines to whatever new situation arises. Here are some essential tips to help kids sleep soundly, even when they’re away from home.


1. Put Sleep Aids in Your Carry-On

This one is simple: If you’re traveling, pack your kid’s essentials in your carry-on. All the best preparation for sleep aids is useless if you stash them in luggage that was sent to Cincinnati while you’re spending the week in San Fran; you should know exactly where the sleep aids are at all times. When you need them, you should have them on hand.

2. Have the Travel Talk

For most adults, travel — and all the hassles that go along with it — is second nature. Cars, airports, long lines, major delays, sitting on the tarmac, eating while in-flight, landing, security checks, rental car pick-ups. When you look at it from a kid’s point of view, it’s utter madness. And if they don’t know what to expect, it can be anxiety-inducing.

Starting about a week before your trip, sit down with your child and describe some of the new things they will encounter during their summer travels. Describe the fun parts: Picking out a meal on the airplane, watching movies, meeting new people. Also talk about some of the other new experiences, like sleeping in a small space on a plane or in a hotel and waiting in line for just about everything. If your child struggles with bedwetting, talk about how you will ease his anxiety by using GoodNites®, NightTime Underwear and GoodNites® Bed Mats should problems arise.

3. Rearrange the Furniture

 You might not have to pack a crib anymore, but you may still find yourself doing some furniture rearranging if your child’s anxiety keeps them from being able to sleep. In hotel rooms with double beds, for example, drag their mattress on the floor over next to your bed to help them feel safer.

4. Pack the Perfect Sleep-Aid Travel Kit Be sure to have the following whenever traveling with kids:

A Favorite Stuffy: Stuffed toys, technically called “attachment objects,” mark an important phase of your child’s development, one where they are learning to self-soothe at night when Mom or Dad’s not around. Snuggling close with Mr. Elephant in a strange new room reassures him that he can close his eyes and still be safe.

A Favorite Pillow: The familiar smell and feel of her pillow from home can help your child sleep better on the road or plane, as well as in her guest bed once you arrive.

A Nightlight: Unfamiliar rooms can be scary in the dark, not to mention the practical issues of finding the bathroom in the pitch-black in a new space. Pack one from home, or if you’re purchasing one for the first time, look for lights that have friendly animal-shaped covers and emit a warm glow.

GoodNites Nighttime Underwear: Bedwetting is one of the most common side-effects of having a routine disrupted. When it happens, kids feel confused and ashamed as they are well past potty training. With a smile and a hug, send them to bed wearing a pair of GoodNites® NightTime Underwear. It looks like their regular undies, but offers absorbency and odor-proofing in case an accident occurs.

Bedtime Books: Reading together is an evening ritual many dads share with their kids. Pack a few favorites from home that are familiar and well-loved. It’s fine to read from your tablet for convenience, but if your kid likes to follow along, skip the electronic devices as they emit a blue light that interferes with sleep signals.

Soothing Music: Before your child’s friends arrive for a sleepover, download a playlist of soft instrumental music, or a white-noise app that plays a steady stream of noise-blocking nothingness. Once the kids are in bed, hit play: The background sounds will help keep them from fixating on every whisper or sigh their friend makes.

A Fan: No wifi access? Borrow an old fan from the house you’re staying in and set it up on a windowsill near your child’s bed. The whirring of the blades helps drown out unfamiliar sounds of creaky floors or doors opening and closing, easing your child into dreamland.

GoodNites® Bed Mats: These absorbent pads are the perfect peace of mind if you’re worried about your child soiling a friend’s guest bed, or if your child is worried about having an accident when a friend sleeps over but is embarrassed to wear nighttime underwear.

A Kid-Friendly Clock: No kid wants the fun to end, but setting up an easy-to-read digital clock allows you to stick to a bedtime schedule. You can either put tape over the minute numbers, or simply say that when the first number on the clock says “8,” that means everyone must be in their beds.



For more info

What Am I Doing to My Kid When I Yell?

Delaware Fatherhood and Family Coalition - Thursday, July 11, 2019

What Am I Doing to My Kid When I Yell?

Short answer: You're setting yourself up for a lifetime of shouting matches.

By Jonathan Stern fatherly.com Updated Jul 09 2019, 4:34 PM


Yelling at kids often occurs unconsciously. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel effective. After all, yelling often feels like the best technique for getting a kid’s attention, punishing them, or simply expressing feelings of anger. But all of the shouting, screaming, and yelling at kids is deeply unhelpful to parenting.

According to Dr. Laura Markham, founder of Aha! Parenting and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, yelling is clearly a parenting “technique” we can do without. But she’s also a realist. You get three hours of sleep a night, you’re going to lose it. The good news is that the psychological and emotional damage to a kid is minimal when parents yell (assuming it’s not true verbal abuse). The bad news is that those who are doing it constantly are setting up more shouting matches later in life.


Grown-Ups Are Scary When They Yell

The power parents hold over young kids is absolute. To them, their folks are humans twice their size who provide things they need to live: Food, shelter, love — Nick Jr. When the person they trust most frightens them, it rocks their sense of security. And yes, it’s truly frightening for a child. “They’ve done studies where people were filmed yelling. When it was played back to the subjects, they couldn’t believe how twisted their faces got,” says Dr. Markham. A 3-year-old may appear to push buttons and give off an attitude like an adult, but they still don’t have the emotional maturity to be treated like one.


Yelling at Kids Is Never Communicating

Nobody (except for a small percentage of sadists) enjoys being yelled at. So, why would kids? “When parents yell, kids acquiesce on the outside, but the child isn’t more open to your influence, they’re less so,” says Dr. Markham. Younger kids may bawl; older kids will get a glazed-over look — but both are shutting down instead of listening. That’s not communication.


Yelling Makes Kids Fight, Flight, or Freeze

Dr. Markham says that while parents who shout aren’t ruining their kids’ brains, per se, they are changing them. “Let’s say during a soothing experience [the brain’s] neurotransmitters respond by sending out soothing biochemicals that we’re safe. That’s when a child is building neural pathways to calm down.”

When a toddler with underdeveloped prefrontal cortex and not much in the way of the executive function gets screamed at, the opposite happens. “The kid releases biochemicals that say fight, flight, or freeze. They may hit you. They may run away. Or they freeze and look like a deer in headlights. None of those are good for brain formation,” she says. If that action happens repeatedly, the behavior becomes ingrained.


How to Keep From Yelling at Kids

  • Remember that the younger children are, the less likely their button-pushing behavior is intentional. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
  • Consider that yelling teaches children that adversity can only be met with a raised and angry voice.
  • Use humor to help a kid disengage from problematic behavior. Laughter is better than yelling and tears.
  • Train yourself to raise your voice only in crucial situations where a child might get hurt. Then lower your voice to communicate.
  • Focus on engaging in a calm dialogue. Yelling shuts down all forms of communication between you and the child and often prevents lessons from being learned through discipline.

Parents Who Yell Train Kids to Yell

“Normalize” is a word that gets thrown about a lot these days in politics, but it’s also applicable to a child’s environment. Parents who constantly yell in the house make that behavior normal for a kid, and they’ll adapt to it. Dr. Markham notes that if a child doesn’t bat an eye when they’re being scolded, there’s too much scolding going on. Instead, parents need to first and foremost be models of self-regulation. In essence, to really get a kid to behave, grown-ups have to first.


READ MORE


About DFFC

The Delaware Fatherhood & Family Coalition is an extension of the Promoting Safe and Stable Families Program and the Responsible Fatherhood Initiative created specifically to give a voice to fathers and the importance of their involvement for the well-being of their children.


Learn more

Newsletter Sign-Up

Sign up today to get the lastest news and info.




Captcha Image